Gratitude

When I first came into the program, I was a broken, beat down person. I was living in quiet desperation. My body had been torn up, my mental health was non-existent. I was depressed, anxious, self centered, full of fear, suicidal, and broken. By this time I had a couple of rounds in residential treatment facilities. While in treatment we learned coping mechanisms, our bodies began to heal, our minds began to clear and we were introduced to gratitude. When I found my first sponsor, she gave me a couple of tasks each day. One was to call her every day (pick up the damn phone!) and send her a gratitude list comprised of 3-5 things I was grateful for each day. I didn't understand the purpose of this task but I was in no position to argue, I was beaten into submission by my disease. The 12-step program I attended encourages us to find a power greater than ourselves to rely on to relieve our disease of addiction. By now you may know that there is no cure for alcoholism. It is a disease that wants you dead and will manipulate your thinking until it does just that. The only relief can be found through a higher power who I choose to call God. New in sobriety, I had very little to no faith in anything outside of myself. I was bitter, angry and full of resentments. I participated in a 24/7 pity party for myself. "Why me" and the "Woe is me" attitude took the lead. As each day passed, I diligently wrote out my gratitude lists and sent them. Some days were easier than others, some days I found it hard to think of even one thing to be grateful for. As time went on, I noticed that my attitude and outlook upon life was beginning to change. Life started to become easier, wonderful things started happening. I found more and more things to be grateful for I even began to be grateful for the little things that I had once took for granted. I began to pray. I began to sit quietly with my creator and listen for His guidance in my life. This was something I had never done. Prior to this I was the sole creator of my life, making decisions based on fear, based on past hurt and selfish desires. I had to admit that this way of living didn't work, it landed me in institutions, physically and spiritually defeated. My life was a mess. But once I began practicing gratitude, my life began to change and my relationship with God grew. I saw him working in my life. My will was aligned with his and together we were finally accomplishing things in life. I heard that "gratitude is the only coin in which you can buy God" and how true that is. Whatever your higher power is in your life, gratitude can strengthen that relationship with it and with others. "Gratitude is the golden tray in which we freely give to others that which God has given to us". We are here on earth for only a short period of time. Life can be the greatest gift or the greatest nightmare depending upon the choices and decisions we make on a daily basis. If you are struggling today try gratitude on for size. They say a grateful person will not drink or use and I find that to be true. Be grateful for all the things you have in this world even if it is just the breath in your lungs. Until next time, peace, gratitude, love, and service!